Category: Marriage

Family Life and the Dangers of Today - 1

8/19/2013

The Australian Catholic Truth Society Record
May 20, 1953 (No. 520)
Fr J W Gleeson

THE FAMILY

The family is the basic unit of society. It is essential that this fact should be known and remembered by legislators, educators, and especially by parents. Christ sanctified the family, and the Church has always regarded it as one of her sacred duties to protect family life and to promote the spiritual and temporal welfare of the family. It is in and through family life that most people will save their souls. Therefore, we should appreciate the importance of the family and of those things that protect the family. We should also know just how menacing is anything that threatens the stability, the unity, the happiness and the complete development of family life.

A PERSONAL NOTE

Fathers and mothers of the present and future—I am writing these pages in the hope that they may be of help to you in your family life. They are an attempt to point out evils and to suggest the remedies which are an application of Christian principles. If you can discuss these ideas with others, you will gain greater value from them. Further, you may thus be able to take part in the very worthwhile task of promoting Christian family life.

IS ANYTHING WRONG?

Only those who are completely blind to modern trends will be unaware of the fact that vicious attacks from within and without are being made upon the family in these days. The future offers no immediate sign of a change in this. Rather does the position seem to grow worse from day to day with the increasing influence of materialism and naturalism and the concomitant decline in the practice of religion, particularly outside the Catholic Church.

I. WITHIN THE HOME Let us get it clear that a home is not just a building of so many squares. A home is a place (a centre of life is perhaps a better description) in which the mutual love of husband and wife radiate to each other and also to those children who are begotten through loving union. Unless this union of the husband and wife is based on love, respect and discipline, there are positive dangers to all those who live in that house with insecurity, unhappiness, even hatred, as the consequences.

With the mention of dangers to the family our minds usually turn Immediately to such things as comics and films. I think you will agree, however, after more serious reflection, that the most insidious dangers can come from within the home itself. Unless in the home there is mutual love and respect based on the love of God and trust in His Providence, the greatest danger of all is striking at the heart of the family and of the children.

Part 2: RELIGION IN THE HOME

How to have a Happy Marriage

5/14/2013

"Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: 'Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. For we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God.' So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them, and Tobias said: 'Lord God of our fathers, may the heavens and the earth, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all Thy creatures that are in them, bless Thee. Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for a helper. And now, Lord, thou knowest, that not for fleshly lust do I take my sister to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which Thy name may be blessed for ever and ever.' Sara also said: ; 'Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us, and let us grow old both together in health.'" (Tobias 8:4-10)

Have the correct attitude.

Look upon marriage as a very holy union, founded by God and raised to the dignity of a Sacrament by Jesus Christ as a means of saving your soul.
Have the correct purpose.

Look forward to having children and founding a Christian home. People who marry for selfish reasons (money, pleasure, beauty, fame, influence) very seldom, if ever, find happiness in marriage.
Do not marry for selfish reasons.

Genuine happiness is attained only by those who are completely generous and ready to sacrifice themselves in all things.
Study what marriage is.

Marriage, like a career, requires specialized knowledge, and this is obtained through study and prayer. Receive marriage instructions from a priest and/or read about the duties and graces of Catholic marriage.
Pray for a happy marriage.

You should pray every day for a happy marriage, because most probably, you will save your soul or lose your soul as a married person. "House and riches are given by parents: but a prudent wife is properly from the Lord."    (Proverbs 19:14)
Prepare for marriage by living a Christian life.

Receive Holy Communion worthily and often; go to Confession regularly; observe the Ten Commandments, especially the 6th.
Follow the advice of your parents and your parish priest.

It is wise to seek advice when making any important decision, but especially when deciding about your partner in this lifelong union.
Choose a suitable partner.

Look for a person who is a good Catholic, really serious about having children and founding a Christian home, one who is sincere, truthful, dependable, and chaste.
Do not marry too young.

Today, young people under 21 (especially young men), although capable of marrying and having children, are often still attached to youthful pastimes and thus may find it extra difficult to adjust to the responsibilities of marriage.
Have the correct attitude toward sex.

God created sex to attract the husband and wife to have children and to cultivate love for one another. Remember - to refuse intercourse to your married partner is a mortal sin, unless you have a serious reason.
Accept all the children that God wants to send you.

Look upon having children as one of the great blessings of marriage. Court records show that there are fewer breakups among couples with large families.
Have respect for your partner.

The person you marry shares in a union that was established by God Himself and raised to the dignity of a Sacrament by Christ. "Ye husbands, likewise dwelling with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the female as to the weaker vessel, and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered."    (1 Peter 3:7)
Do not fight or argue!

Married people should learn to control their tempers and to discuss their problems as grown-ups and not as children. "Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if any have a complaint against another: even as the Lord hath forgiven you, so do you also. but above all these things have charity, which is the bond of perfection: And let the peace of Christ rejoice in your hearts, wherein also you are called in one body: and be ye thankful...Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them."    (Colossians 3:13-15, 18-19)
Do not criticize!

Criticizing your partner's faults or constantly harping on trifles soon destroys a happy marriage. "And why seest thou the mote [speck] that is in thy brother's eye; and seest not the beam that is in thy own eye? Or how sayest thou to thy brother: Let me cast the mote out of thy eye; and behold a beam is in thy own eye?"    (Matthew 7:3-4)
Trust one another completely.

It is a sin to be jealous or judge without evidence. "Judge not, that you may not be judged. For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete [measure], it shall be measured to you again."    (Matthew 7:1-2)
Do not live with in-laws!

Your first duty is to your married partner; parents and other come second. "Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
Do things together.

Husband and wife should find happiness in their own home with their children, and also should associate with other happily married couples.
Make your home a pleasant place.

The wife should make the home a place to which her husband longs to go after his day's work; it should be clean and orderly, and the meals well prepared and on time. "Happy is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double. A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband and shall fulfill the years of his life in peace. A good wife is a good portion; she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. Rich or poor, if his heart is good, his countenance shall be cheerful at all times."    (Ecclesiasticus 26:1-4)
Use family money properly.

A husband is bound to the complete support of his wife and children; a wife is obliged to use the family money wisely. "But if any man have not care of his own, and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."    (1 Timothy 5:8)
Pray together!

As the saying goes, "A family that prays together stays together," and this includes the family Rosary, attending Mass and receiving Holy Communion together. "Where there are two or three gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."    (Matthew 18:20)

The Duty of Parents towards their Children

5/14/2013

"But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in Me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

To give their children the necessary food, clothing and shelter.

   This obligation rests on both parents, whether living together or separated. They must also keep their children from all danger to life and protect them from possible death.
To give them good example.

   Parents give good example by observing strictly all of their religious duties. For example: Regularly attending Mass, not eating meat on days of abstinence, carefully avoiding indecent speech, lying, cursing, criticism of others, immodesty and drunkenness. Parents should remember that children are great imitators, and they should be very careful of everything they do and say in the presence of their children.
To provide a truly Catholic home for them.

   A Catholic home is one in which God and Religion are of the greatest importance. In the home there should be crucifixes, pictures of Jesus, the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Saints. Indecent pictures and calendars, sexy and sensational magazines, books, comic books, TV shows and videos have no place in the Christian home. There should be good books, Catholic newspapers and Catholic magazines.
To have them baptized as soon as possible after birth.

   It is a serious sin to delay the Baptism of infants, and if there is any danger to the life of the newly born baby, the priest should be called immediately. In danger of death, and if no priest is available, Baptism can and should be given by anyone (preferably someone other than the parents). The one baptizing need not be Catholic; he may be of any religion or of no religion. But he must have the intention of doing what the Church does in Baptism. The procedure is: Pour water over the head of the child, saying at the same time: "I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost."
To see that they go to Confession, receive Holy Communion and receive Confirmation.

   The children should be taught to go to Confession and Holy Communion regularly and frequently - every week, if possible, especially during vacation time.
To teach them to pray.

   Daily prayers should be said together by the whole family. As the saying goes, "The family that prays together stays together." The daily family Rosary will go a very long way toward ensuring that the children grow up to be good Catholics.
To see that they go to Mass every Sunday and on the six Holy Days.

   Parents should not keep children home from Mass except for very serious reasons.
To see that on Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent they abstain from meat altogether and that on the other Fridays of the year they refrain from meat or perform a comparable penance.

To send them to a Catholic school.

   This includes high school and college, as well as grammar school. Parents are forbidden by Church Law to send their children to any other kind of school. In very many cases today, the only truly Catholic school available is home schooling. Experience has shown that Catholic home schooling produces excellent results both spiritually and academically and that it brings great blessings to the family.
To insist that they marry in the Catholic Church.

   A Catholic cannot marry except in the presence of a Catholic priest and two witnesses. When a son or daughter begins to think seriously of marrying, the parents should have him (or her) see the priest and receive the necessary instructions on marriage. They should encourage dating only with Catholics, or at least with non-Catholics who are willing to take a full course of instructions in the Catholic Religion. Parents commit a mortal sin by forcing or unduly persuading any of their children to marry.
To give them the Christian attitude on marriage and having children.

   Parents should avoid complaining about the hardships of married life and joking about the sacred duties of marriage. The birth of another child should be a joyful occasion for the whole family so that the other children will consider having children as the greatest blessing of married life.
To prepare them for marriage.

   The children should be taught the serious duties and responsibilities of marriage, both by word and example. They should also be taught the practical side of making a home, such as cleaning, cooking, sewing, repairing, caring for children, being on time, and being neat and orderly.
To teach them the facts on sex.

   This information should be given carefully and with great emphasis on the beauty and sacredness of sex. Answers to questions about the facts of life should be correct, but always suited to the age and mental development of the child. Parents should encourage the confidence of their children so that the children will come to them for information.
To protect them from sin, particularly sins of impurity.

   In addition to protecting their children from bad companions, etc., parents have a grave obligation to do whatever is necessary to protect their children from classroom "Sex Education" either in public or Catholic schools. Formal "Sex Education" is always grossly immodest and a temptation to sin, even aside from the un-Catholic and un-Christian "slant" with which it is usually delivered.
To correct their sins and faults.

   It is a serious sin to neglect this duty.
To teach them the virtues of honesty, obedience, truthfulness, purity, and modesty in dress.

   These lessons must be given early and repeated continually.
To teach them respect for the rights and property of others.

   Many parents sin seriously by bad example in this matter.
To teach them respect for all lawful authority.

   Children should be taught early to respect all lawful authority, especially the authority of the Church, the State and the School.
To give them wholesome recreation and keep them from evil companions.

   The Christian home should be the center of the child's social life, a place where he feels free to bring his companions. Parents should be extremely careful about allowing their children to attend motion pictures; they should also examine their comic books and govern their use of the radio and television, as well as the VCR. Children receive many un-Christian ideas on life, marriage, crime, drinking, body piercing, etc. from these sources of entertainment. [One can imagine what Fr. Cogan would say of modern radio, motion pictures and television.]
To encourage a child's desire to be a priest, a brother or sister.

   Having a priest, brother or sister in the family is one of the greatest blessings that God can give a mother and father. Instead of turning a child away from such a desire, parents should encourage the child.

Teach the children!

5/10/2013

Everywhere, this seems to be a request, even a command from Mary. It is what Our Lady said to Adele Brisse in the US in the mid 1800s. Recently, during the visions to the thousands of people who came to Hrushiv, in the Ukraine, Our Lady said:

"Teach the children to pray. Teach children to live in truth and live yourselves in truth. Forgive nations which have harmed you.

"Constantly say the Rosary. The Rosary is the weapon against Satan. He fears the Rosary. Say the Rosary everyday... constantly at any gathering of people.

"My children, keep all the prayers that I have entrusted to you for your correction and the preservation of your souls. Do not neglect your prayer. Teach the children, for this shall save them.

"Repent and love one another. The times are coming, which have been foretold, as being those in the end times. I come to you with tears in my eyes and I implore you, pray and work for good, and for the glory of God."

Teach How to Love Him! Tan books circulates an interesting book about Teresa Helena Higginson (1844-1905) a visionary and stigmatist known as "The spouse of the Crucified."

Jesus promised her that the devotion to the Holy Head of Jesus would one day achieve world wide prominence. She was led to know that her vocation in life was to TEACH the poorest of God's children how to love Him.

Family Life and the Dangers of Today - 1

How to have a Happy Marriage

The Duty of Parents towards their Children

Teach the children!

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