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Family Life and the Dangers of Today - 1

8/19/2013

The Australian Catholic Truth Society Record
May 20, 1953 (No. 520)
Fr J W Gleeson

THE FAMILY

The family is the basic unit of society. It is essential that this fact should be known and remembered by legislators, educators, and especially by parents. Christ sanctified the family, and the Church has always regarded it as one of her sacred duties to protect family life and to promote the spiritual and temporal welfare of the family. It is in and through family life that most people will save their souls. Therefore, we should appreciate the importance of the family and of those things that protect the family. We should also know just how menacing is anything that threatens the stability, the unity, the happiness and the complete development of family life.

A PERSONAL NOTE

Fathers and mothers of the present and future—I am writing these pages in the hope that they may be of help to you in your family life. They are an attempt to point out evils and to suggest the remedies which are an application of Christian principles. If you can discuss these ideas with others, you will gain greater value from them. Further, you may thus be able to take part in the very worthwhile task of promoting Christian family life.

IS ANYTHING WRONG?

Only those who are completely blind to modern trends will be unaware of the fact that vicious attacks from within and without are being made upon the family in these days. The future offers no immediate sign of a change in this. Rather does the position seem to grow worse from day to day with the increasing influence of materialism and naturalism and the concomitant decline in the practice of religion, particularly outside the Catholic Church.

I. WITHIN THE HOME Let us get it clear that a home is not just a building of so many squares. A home is a place (a centre of life is perhaps a better description) in which the mutual love of husband and wife radiate to each other and also to those children who are begotten through loving union. Unless this union of the husband and wife is based on love, respect and discipline, there are positive dangers to all those who live in that house with insecurity, unhappiness, even hatred, as the consequences.

With the mention of dangers to the family our minds usually turn Immediately to such things as comics and films. I think you will agree, however, after more serious reflection, that the most insidious dangers can come from within the home itself. Unless in the home there is mutual love and respect based on the love of God and trust in His Providence, the greatest danger of all is striking at the heart of the family and of the children.

Part 2: RELIGION IN THE HOME

Successful Fathers - 2

7/10/2013

12 Powerful ways Fathers mold their children’s characters
by James B. Stenson (Book review)

5. And, of course, such fathers listen to their children as well. They listen for what is unspoken and implied. They come to understand the changes taking place in the children's minds, and they steer the children's judgment about people and affairs. They respect the children's privacy. They praise them for their growth in character, showing their earnest expectations that the children will grow up to become great, honorable men and women regardless of what they do for a living.
6. Successful fathers keep television-watching to a minimum. They realize that TV steals time from the family's life together. It squelches conversation. Whenever something worthwhile is on, the family (or most of it) watches together. Otherwise the screen remains dark and the children constructively occupied: talking, playing games, reading, studying, making the most of the few years they will spend together as a family. Since curtailment of TV's "baby-sitting" functions means more work for Mom, then Dad pitches in to help. Under his leadership here, the home is more active, and consequently healthier.
7. Successful fathers see discipline, not as punishment or mere behavior-control, but rather as a means of building the children's self-control. They see that "No" is also a loving word. Without its loving application, the children may grow up with no sense of impulse control; in today's drug culture, this weakness could be seriously dangerous. From their long-range vision, such fathers realize that the children need practice and encouragement in overcoming their feelings now, so that later they will exercise mastery over themselves.
For this reason, such fathers do not hesitate to use reasonable physical punishment when necessary. We refer here to the minor and temporary pain that serves to underscore a serious lesson in particular, the children's defiance of parental authority. Fathers realize that the children's long-term happiness is more important than the passing discomfort of a hard-learned lesson. In a short time, the tears dry up and the pain goes away; what remains is the line defining right from wrong — and this is what counts. When discipline is administered with love, it builds the children's respect and devotion for their parents. This respect, as we've noted, is the basis for everything else.
8. Related to this, successful fathers are confident of their authority. They know that fatherhood is not an elective office. Their authority as father does not come from the consent of the governed. It comes with the job; it comes from the responsibility given by God and taken on freely by the man himself. Consequently, successful fathers are not afraid of being temporarily unpopular. Their love for their children and their commitment to the children's long-term best interests — these are strong enough to override the kids' bruised feelings and their occasional reluctance to do the right thing.
In short, such fathers do not permit what they do not approve of. Though they may have inner doubts about the Tightness of a given decision, they have no doubt whatever of their right to make a decision and to make it stick.

Successful Fathers: The Subtle but Powerful Ways Fathers Mold Their Children's Characters

Successful Fathers - 1

7/9/2013

12 Powerful ways Fathers mold their children’s characters
by James B. Stenson (Book review)

1. Successful fathers have a sense of supportive partnership with their wives. They are neither domineering nor neglectful. They sincerely appreciate their wives' sacrifices, hard work, long hours, and loving attention to detail. What's even more to the point, they show this appreciation in front of their children. Consciously or otherwise, such a father draws the children's attention to their mother's outstanding qualities. He directs his children to share his gratitude and respect for Mom. (Many fathers overlook an important fact of life: Men frequently receive signs of appreciation in their job circumstance — evaluations, raises, promotions, congratulations. But if wives who work full-time at home do not receive such signs of appreciation from their husbands, then they don't receive them at all. Children, of course, are innately ungrateful. If the father does not lead the children in this area, then the mother must sustain a heavy emotional burden, facing nothing but negative feedback. The children's respect for their parents must begin with the parents' respect for each other.)
2. Successful fathers think long-term about their children's future character as grown-up men and women. They think of inner strengths, not career choices. They ask the same character-centered questions that parents have always pondered (the same questions we saw earlier), and then ask themselves: "What do my wife and I have to do now to raise our children toward responsible adulthood?" In other words, they see themselves raising adults, not children.
3. As a consequence of this vision, they frequently talk with their wives about the children's character strengths and weaknesses. Such men are conscious that their wives are probably more sensitive and insightful in these areas, and they respect their judgment. Though they may have disagreements with their wives on tactical matters, they are determined to come to some agreement; they realize how important it is for the children to see the parents united, especially in matters of discipline. Furthermore, though the parents may argue in front of the children, both are careful never to have a heated quarrel. There's much to be said for the children's seeing parental disagreements resolved amicably through compromise. But quarrels are a threat to family unit.
4. These fathers frequently discuss things with their children. Conversation is the most common leisure activity at home. Fathers talk about their own childhood and family life, their job responsibilities, their courtship of Mom, their worries and concerns, their past mistakes and hilarious blunders, their relations with people whom they admire, their opinions and convictions, and so on through the range of their mind. They talk about grandparents, forebears and family honor. This does not mean that they bore their children or impose their viewpoints; sometimes the children (especially in early adolescence) don't want to talk at all. But they're patient and wait for an opening. As a result of this conversation, the children come to know their father's mind inside out. Over time, they come to respect his experience and judgment.

Successful Fathers: The Subtle but Powerful Ways Fathers Mold Their Children's Characters

Family Life and the Dangers of Today - 1

Successful Fathers - 2

Successful Fathers - 1

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